This topic has taken a new life in this generation and I don’t believe that it just happened by chance. Which if you know me, know I don’t believe in chances anyways. The Word tells us that it is the enemies job to “wear out the saints” and he is doing just that. Unfortunately most of it is because we have not found the balance in self-care.
I’ve heard many people say that self-care is a selfish thing and that all people need to do is pray and read the Word. It is true that those two things should be a part of our self-care but it can’t be all of it. We live in a world that is a pressure cooker which means at some point the steam is going to have to come out. Wouldn’t you rather that steam be appropriately released in a healthy way then to blow up in your face and cause second degree burns? I can tell you in full confidence you don’t. It isn’t a pretty situation and even though you’d like to justify it, you can’t.
Taking time for you is not wrong nor is it something you should feel guilty about. Why?! Because that guilt isn’t placed there by God it is placed there by man. It’s the assumption of what you perceive people to think or what you’ve heard them speak. It’s the judgement of old ways and generational changes. It’s the lack of empathy that is truly only learned. Finding yourself balance in taking time for yourself is critical and it should only be judged by you and God.
Something that I hear a lot about being single is how lucky I am because I don’t have as much work. Truth is I don’t believe that anyone has more or less work. It is truly how they choose to allow it to control them. While a married couple has another person to take care of in a way. A single person has no one else there to help. While a family with many kids have many people to care for they also have many to help. No one can win that war of who has things worse and no one should want to. It isn’t about who needs time more. It is about making that time to count.
Self-care should never be a bad word in the lives of Christians. It is about relationship not religion. It is about caring for the temple we are given. So taking the time to care for yourself is critical for you to be the best person in that relationship. God does not desire to only get your left overs or for you to only give him what you have enough of. He wants for you to be able to take the time for Him and to be able to receive more from that time. If that means taking time for just you, don’t feel guilty for that.
Momma’s stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. Stop looking at you needing time as a selfish act and stop feeling that it has to be just once in a blue moon. Make it something that you do regularly and it can be as small as you just taking a half hour before bed. It might mean every Sunday night you do a fifteen minute face mask. Maybe it means that you go with your friends once a month for a Saturday morning coffee break.
Single ladies stop feeling guilty for taking time on yourself because everyone thinks you have all this time. There is nothing wrong with taking the time for self-care. You want to get into routines so that you get to do what you want to do instead of all your responsibilities, go for it. You need to take an hour to get ready for bed, right on sister I’m right there with you.
The truth is we need to be purposeful in the things that are important in our lives. I once heard someone say that you don’t need more time in a day you need to learn how to make time. You will find time in your life when you start to make things important. For me that meant scheduling things out and using a reminder on my phone to keep me accountable. Weekly posts in the group I get to minister in, I have a reminder on my phone every Thursday. Payroll biweekly on my calendar so that I know that I can’t take that Monday off. Changing my filters for my furnace, I have a reminder. Monthly books completed for the church, I have a reminder. By doing this I am able to make sure that things don’t fall through the cracks, but when it comes to taking care of this temple. Those things I need to gage during my time with God.
Getting sick was one of the best things for me to begin to invest in that time. I learned that with my illness taking time for self-care was critical for my all around health. Stress is a huge trigger for me and my pain, but most importantly being self-aware of my body was even more important. Learning when I was mentally exhausted and responding to that was critical. Being self-aware of what I was doing with my muscles when I was stressed, was important. Learning to take time to just breathe, was important. And what I learned in all of it is God created us all uniquely which means each person needs something different. We need to learn to embrace that and to learn balance.
I’m not telling you to neglect everything and just focus on yourself. What I’m saying is that you need to take the time to evaluate your life and the priority that you give things in your life. Those dishes in the sink to someone else will be there tomorrow...but to me a clean kitchen in the morning helps me feel peace. To that Momma who needs to take the time at night to spend with her kids and tackle the dishes in the morning that is for you to figure out and not for me to judge. so own it and the responsibility you have to your temple gave you.
It’s balance my friend. Something the enemy hopes you will never figure out.
