As I watched the hands raise on the right side of me my eyes filled with tears. The true desire for God's glory to be scene filled the room with great intensity and grace. I wondered if truly my idea of worship is a passion or a desire.
I have been haunted with fears that I will be a part of the generation that praises and doesn't pray. Can we witness to people with hearts full of acts? I wonder often if we can work within our hearts to find where our true passion lives.
Looking back at August Youth Core I find my heart being tested. I have never seen the worship of young men being lifted up like I did that first night of prayer. Young women sat around me with few really worshiping God. Hands of young men praising the Lord they served and young women truly not happy.
I pray that someday I will see a generation of worshipping, prayer warriors. I worry that I am part of the generation who know not how to pray. I myself challenge to work through my crazy life to pray and learn to pray. I worry I will not be able to pray to the Lord I can praise, but remind myself that only I can do work in myself and God can do the work in others.
My reason for finishing this blog is to remind myself the need of prayer and praise. Where is my true passion, it is in the work of Christ. I was inspired by the young men in the pews at Youth Core. They had proved me wrong and even though I was hurt by the young girls lack of praise I realize that I am only responsible for two things....
1. Being an example and good role model
2. Letting God work in me
I do not claim to be perfect there is a lot of things wrong with myself, but one thing I know. My true passion is in a move of God with Christ centered prayer. Not raising our hands in hopes of getting something, but knee bending prayer that delivers a desire and passion for others.
I ask and remind myself... don't get frustrated with the uncontrollable. I was told in class once that... "someone can only make you feel the way you allow them to make you feel". YOU are in control of the reaction you have.
Walk forward with the understanding that the only one who you have control over is yourself and if you have given that control to God well your will is still completely in your power. Don't look across the horizon look up to the brightest light of all!