Time to TAKE time

You ever heard the saying “there isn’t enough time in the day”. Of course you have. I don’t know anyone who feels that they have enough time for all that they’d like to do. Well this my friend is only a sign of the time we are living in. Does not scripture tell us that the closer that we get to the coming of the Lord the days will seem shorter? Well we are no doubt living in that time and while we already feel like time is short the enemy is right behind us trying to wear us out. What greater way to keep us feeling inadequate. Keep making us feel like we can’t do anything right. Sound familiar?

I’m here to tell you today that you can’t live your life feeling like you’ll just make time for things. Truth is you need to start TAKING time. You need to start looking at your life and seeing what is important and what isn’t. Will pushing back laundry until tomorrow really outweigh seeing your niece who’s growing every day? Will your need to have a clean house outweigh you living in the moment and taking that drive with a friend? Or maybe you’ll start working out when you feel like it. Or maybe you’ll start eating healthy when you have the money to do so. Or here is my favorite... sleep in instead of calling into the prayer call when others are in the hospital calling in. It is all about TAKING time and not just making time. 

In today’s world we so often are measuring our success in what we’ve got done. I’m guilty of this. I find myself tired by the weights of work when I’m partly guilty for it. I love my job and I love what I do but the amount of additional work that COVID has brought our workaholic lifestyles are burning out people left and right. We can no longer work until the candle is out. We can no longer push back life and say that we will do it another day. Because those days may never come. 

Part of my goal for 2021 was to get my body moving again. For the first time since I was in high school my pain level was low enough for me to take on working out. It might seem a weird concept for those who do not battle chronic illness but it is true. When I started to work out I found myself so thankful for the way my body was starting to feel. While others in my accountability group found themselves trying to work on just pushing play. I was loving the moment of knowing that I could finally do something like this. TAKING time wasn’t hard for me, but TAKING time for them was. 

You see I share this with you because we are all battling our own voices. We are all living in the same timeframe of the day, but we are all trying to make time for those things we must do. But we can’t do that anymore. There are some things in my life that I just have to TAKE time for. I have to TAKE time for prayer in the morning, for reading the Word, for working out, for those moments that come unexpectedly  that you might not get again. I can’t get back a day with my niece. I can’t get back a moment with my family. I can’t get back the ability to move my body and get stronger. I have to TAKE time for that. 

Stop feeling like you have to make time because you can’t. You don’t have it. Our days are shorter. Our responsibilities more. It is time for you to TAKE time for the things that are important. To TAKE time for those moments. It is time for you to TAKE control of what is trying to control you. It is time to TAKE back your life and live the way God has created you to live.  

Self Care... Is it ok?

This topic has taken a new life in this generation and I don’t believe that it just happened by chance. Which if you know me, know I don’t believe in chances anyways. The Word tells us that it is the enemies job to “wear out the saints” and he is doing just that. Unfortunately most of it is because we have not found the balance in self-care.

I’ve heard many people say that self-care is a selfish thing and that all people need to do is pray and read the Word. It is true that those two things should be a part of our self-care but it can’t be all of it. We live in a world that is a pressure cooker which means at some point the steam is going to have to come out. Wouldn’t you rather that steam be appropriately released in a healthy way then to blow up in your face and cause second degree burns? I can tell you in full confidence you don’t. It isn’t a pretty situation and even though you’d like to justify it, you can’t.

Taking time for you is not wrong nor is it something you should feel guilty about. Why?! Because that guilt isn’t placed there by God it is placed there by man. It’s the assumption of what you perceive people to think or what you’ve heard them speak. It’s the judgement of old ways and generational changes. It’s the lack of empathy that is truly only learned. Finding yourself balance in taking time for yourself is critical and it should only be judged by you and God.

Something that I hear a lot about being single is how lucky I am because I don’t have as much work. Truth is I don’t believe that anyone has more or less work. It is truly how they choose to allow it to control them. While a married couple has another person to take care of in a way. A single person has no one else there to help. While a family with many kids have many people to care for they also have many to help. No one can win that war of who has things worse and no one should want to. It isn’t about who needs time more. It is about making that time to count. 

Self-care should never be a bad word in the lives of Christians. It is about relationship not religion. It is about caring for the temple we are given. So taking the time to care for yourself is critical for you to be the best person in that relationship. God does not desire to only get your left overs or for you to only give him what you have enough of. He wants for you to be able to take the time for Him and to be able to receive more from that time. If that means taking time for just you, don’t feel guilty for that.

Momma’s stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. Stop looking at you needing time as a selfish act and stop feeling that it has to be just once in a blue moon. Make it something that you do regularly and it can be as small as you just taking a half hour before bed. It might mean every Sunday night you do a fifteen minute face mask. Maybe it means that you go with your friends once a month for a Saturday morning coffee break.

Single ladies stop feeling guilty for taking time on yourself because everyone thinks you have all this time. There is nothing wrong with taking the time for self-care. You want to get into routines so that you get to do what you want to do instead of all your responsibilities, go for it. You need to take an hour to get ready for bed, right on sister I’m right there with you.

The truth is we need to be purposeful in the things that are important in our lives. I once heard someone say that you don’t need more time in a day you need to learn how to make time. You will find time in your life when you start to make things important. For me that meant scheduling things out and using a reminder on my phone to keep me accountable. Weekly posts in the group I get to minister in, I have a reminder on my phone every Thursday. Payroll biweekly on my calendar so that I know that I can’t take that Monday off. Changing my filters for my furnace, I have a reminder. Monthly books completed for the church, I have a reminder. By doing this I am able to make sure that things don’t fall through the cracks, but when it comes to taking care of this temple. Those things I need to gage during my time with God. 

Getting sick was one of the best things for me to begin to invest in that time. I learned that with my illness taking time for self-care was critical for my all around health. Stress is a huge trigger for me and my pain, but most importantly being self-aware of my body was even more important. Learning when I was mentally exhausted and responding to that was critical. Being self-aware of what I was doing with my muscles when I was stressed, was important. Learning to take time to just breathe, was important. And what I learned in all of it is God created us all uniquely which means each person needs something different. We need to learn to embrace that and to learn balance.

I’m not telling you to neglect everything and just focus on yourself. What I’m saying is that you need to take the time to evaluate your life and the priority that you give things in your life. Those dishes in the sink to someone else will be there tomorrow...but to me a clean kitchen in the morning helps me feel peace. To that Momma who needs to take the time at night to spend with her kids and tackle the dishes in the morning that is for you to figure out and not for me to judge. so own it and the responsibility you have to your temple gave you.

It’s balance my friend. Something the enemy hopes you will never figure out. 

Embrace the Process...

We’ve all heard that there is a reason that the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror. It is because we are supposed to be looking forward not backwards. However, that is not always so easy. 

As humans we always tend to gravitate to the past. Life was better back then. Life was easier when I was younger and had no responsibilities. The constant gerbil wheel that brings us in full circle right back to where we were at the very beginning. Here right now. 

Scripture tells us that it is unwise to look backwards or to want to go back. We see while the Israelites were taken out of bondage the pressure of life made them want to go back. Living as a slave was better because that meant they didn’t have to endure... Really?! Sometimes we find ourselves just like them wanting to go back because we have forgotten all about what was. 

Wisdom is something that comes through time and experience. It isn’t something that is given to all at the time of birth. It is something that is learned through our daily battles and victories. The Word tells us that the value of wisdom is beyond the price of rubies which is a gem that in its purest nature is put under the greatest fire. Those who are wise beyond their years… those are the people who’ve truly gone through the fire. And didn’t go through it alone, but with God.

We often times want to think that life should be easy and never feel any pressure. Sometimes peace is false peace and it is the very thing that is keeping us from the growth we need to live. Winston Churchill is quoted to have said “People don’t like you. Good that means you stood up for something”. Many would say that this man was full of wisdom and that wisdom didn’t come with out a cost. 

So today take the time to thank God for every lesson. For those reminders of what He’s done in your life that has helped you grow and not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

Life is beautiful and the reason it is beautiful is because each person’s story is different and them embracing that...is something that only they can share. 

New Start...

It has been way to long since I last wrote on my blog. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve thought I should just deactivate this account, but then God stops me. It has been years since I last wrote and truthfully those years seem like a blur. However, those years have taught me more about life than I ever thought was possible.

So starting in 2020 I promised God that I would be committed to the things that He’s placed within me. Those things that seemed to be attacked by life and the spiritual battles. Since I last wrote on my blog I have faced unforeseen medical situations and spiritual battles that I would not wish on my worst enemy. But I also have walked into numerous ministries that I never would have dreamt would be possible. I tried network marketing to find that my calling as a minister is the only network marketing that I should be doing. I was voted in as the Assistant Pastor at our church. I received a promotion at work and most importantly have grown so much as a person and as a child of God.

While I go back through the years and catch you up on all that God has done I pray that you may see that in the mist of my life there is one thing that has continually rang true. I am a flawed person with need of the Savior. I’ve fought battles but I also have stumbled on my own flesh. My walk has been chalked with lessons only because of one thing... I love God and want to please Him in all that I do.

In my pursuit to follow through with my commitment to God and His call on my life. I will be working on devotional material that I have written to share on here. As well as, some snippets of my book to come. I’m excited to share with you everything as I try to inspire you to follow after your own purpose and calling.

The beauty of this wonderful calling of God is that it is so much bigger than you and me. It is those who will be inspired to follow after their calling. It is for those who are seeking and end up finding.

Thank you for taking the time to following my blog and for reading it. I pray that as I try to get back into this vein of ministry that you may be blessed beyond measure and take what God speaks into you... to inspire someone else. Again thank you for reading and I look forward to getting to know you as we walk down this journey.

Blessed...

I have been recovery from surgery for the last week and during that time have found lots of time to pray and meditate on God. My activity is very limited, but feel blessed by application in my life. And all that has came in this last year.

I have received numerous messages and phone calls from people all over the world praying for me. I find it truly overwhelming to think that I have that many people sincerely praying for me. All the way down to my surgeon who prior to surgery came into the room and asked me if I could pray with him. Yes, you did hear me write my doctor.

I felt humbled by the fact that in an institution that is filled with scientific reasoning and logic. I was given a doctor that believed in the power of prayer. Who knew nothing about my faith or that I even believed in prayer.

It was at that moment that I knew that my continual prayers had been heard. Continual prayers that I would be kingdom minded. Not desiring my own fleshly desires but those that are eternal and God centered. That God's will be my focus and to remember to get my daily substance, so I can be useful in the work of the Lord. To live a life of forgiveness and demonstration of freedom. Praying for God's protection from temptation and evil. And to rely on Jesus' strength and to walk in the spirit, so that in all things I may bring Him glory.

Mat 6:9  After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Mat 6:10  Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Mat 6:11  Give us this day our daily bread.
Mat 6:12  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Mat 6:13  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

I have come to realize that when you are in the mist of trials people always seem to worry about you and feel they need to give you encouragement. However, I've learned through this trial in my life that spiritually I am stronger than I have ever been in my walk. Because when I am weak, I am strong (II Cor. 12:10).

I have learned to trust in the miraculous and believe in the supernatural. Seeing as prayers be answered and lives be touched. Learned to listen to the still small voice and pray consistently. I've found hope in the trial and believed steadfastly in the things to come.

This trial may be long, but in the mist of the storm I have found strength. In the darkness, I see light. In the rain, I know the Son.

I feel rich in the things that matter and in the mist of my trial have witnessed God's hand bless. Be blessed readers and know that we serve a God who is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we could even ask or think (Eph. 3:20).

Clear...

I am struggling to put words down as my mind goes a mile a minute about what I should say instead of what I am feeling to write. That unclear message that only God can give you to truly learn how to allow Him to be the stronger voice in your vessel. A voice that only comes when you surrender your will and even though in some anguish lower yourself.

In the mist of my journey I have found myself learning that I rely way to much on speaking the right words or following the right movement. However, in the mist of that I am feeling a prompting to throw away the notes and trust in the guidance of the Holy Ghost. To hear what He is saying and allow myself to be guided by the voice that I want to be walking with. A voice that tells me I can when my flesh tells me I can't.

The Word tells us that when we are weak, He is made strong. I have found this statement to be true as I learn to walk in faith and allow myself to be guided by Him. My body is failing me as I battle through an "incurable" disease, but in that I feel the healing hand of God and trust His blessings will be much bigger than I can even imagine. I say that because in my long journey I have learned that I needed more than a healing from this thorn, but a healing of my heart.

I do not claim the ministry of Paul, but I do claim that if God got Paul through what he endured. God will see me through and I know His promises are real.

My flesh told me how can I minister about a God of healing and miraculous wonder when He won't even heal me. But through that God wanted me to see Him and not what a miracle would do for me.

I recently had a young lady share with me that she had an ultrasound that showed a mass on one of her ovaries. With compassion I told her I would begin to pray. I prayed for God to heal her and to give her hope. I remember being her age and battling with the same disease. A disease that breeds hopelessness as it steals from you fertility.

In the mist of this young woman's pain I still believed that God healed. But how could I pray for God to heal someone when He didn't hear my prayers to heal me of the exact same thing. I told myself that someone else must pray for her because I just must not have enough faith to touch God. But in me was still faith and enough faith to asked God to show me that He still hears my prayers and I prayed for a miraculous healing. And God heard my prayer.

There were no medical treatments that were done from that Monday until she went to see her specialist on Friday. On that day God performed a miracle and what was once a mass the size of a grapefruit was now almost invisible. A certified miracle happened for her and God was the one who touched her body and healed her! She will not need to have surgery and has the hope of one day having children!

God's plans are not our plans and in the mist of my situation I have seen that my blessings are coming in small doses. I have seen the mighty hand of God touch and in the mist of this journey I have seen His strength become mine. I know who my God is and no matter what the trial that seems so unclear in your life... clarity will come in a nice warm package of charity from Jesus!

Only Him...

Have you every had a day when you can't imagine what it would have been like with out Jesus? That day that you put your head on the pillow and just can't help but speaking out loud, "thank you Jesus".

I find those days coming a lot more now than I ever thought could be. The days when I look towards my ceiling and can't help but exhaling with great force.  That deep sigh that seems to be the only way that you can feel the depth of your core being relieved of all the negativity in your life.

As I find myself ending most days like that I also find myself seeing that wonderful feeling of being full of the hope of Jesus Christ. That hope that only can come through walking with Him. The hope that only can be understood when you walk closely with the one who gets you and your battles. Even though I know Jesus knows all about my day I still find comfort in talking with Him about it.

Have you ever thought that maybe it is those kind of daily communions with Him that make life feel complete? As the day goes by and you find that you never left your true love and that every day you can find Him in the stillness of the day and even in the craziness of the storm.

I write this short blog today to encourage you to have that time. The time when you truly are leaving all your cares on the alter and that with "Only Him" your heart is made whole. I can't find myself in any greater place than in the arms of the one who truly loves me. That one who I know truly loves you.

My Barren Womb...

The word tells us that we must be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1), but what about those who are barren. As people of faith we pray for the barren. A simple prayer of faith that is left in the hands of the one who can open up the most infertile womb and bring forth life.

Let’s look at the mother of many nations. Sara a woman of old age was promised a child. A promise that a woman today would need great faith to even believe is possible. However, in the womb of Sara laid a seed of promise that only God could bring to life.

We look at Leah, a woman that I have come to find of great interest. The word tells us that because she was hated, God opened her womb. While her sister Rachel a woman of great favor and beauty battled with the very curse of infertility. A thing that was in dead thought to be a curse and a thing that caused a woman to be of lesser value.

Next we have Hannah a woman of great persistence. In great travail she prayed her promise into existence to give him back to the priesthood. Her barren womb birthed the very man who shows us the meaning of obedience and faith. The one who shows us what it means when God says to those who has an ear let them hear.

And finally, my favorite barren dual. The famous Elisabeth and Mary the mother of Jesus. Like Sara Elisabeth was a woman of old age who’s doubting husband was made dumb at the very promise of a child. Through Elisabeth we see the birth of the very man who paved the way for the coming of the gospel.

Now that is a lot of impossibility made possible. Situations that didn’t come without the sadness of infertility, worthlessness, and some fear. I find myself intrigued by the idea of the barren womb and that beauty that God put on the very promise of children.

A couple weeks ago now I was praying for God to give me answers to why I was going through the pain that I was going through. From my first diagnoses I knew that this all was for a reason. That there was something that would come from my pain and one day while fishing with my dad it all came. The Lord spoke in a very clearly “your barren womb”.

Instantly I got it, I was so focused on the physical womb and its infertility that I had lost focus on the very promise that kept me. As the song goes, “this life is not my own, to Him I belong, I give myself, I give myself away”. Those words to me are not just words that I love to sing, but prayers of my very heart.

I speak in great humility as I find myself in pain today. My natural womb may be barren, but my spiritual womb is not. The women I spoke of before are all women who birthed great promises that were the vessels that through the power of Jesus Christ changed their world. These women’s very promises came with pain that only infertility can bring and Jesus could use to show the very impossible made possible.

God’s purpose and plan for each one of us is different. As some hold promises of the beautiful opportunity of raising up children to change their worlds. I hold to my promise of mothering the motherless and birthing something that can only be seen through spiritual eyes.

So I say to you today, don’t underestimate the promises of God in your life. The beautiful purpose that you hold in what God wants for you to do. We all have a purpose in this kingdom and all with significant value. There is never anything worth receiving in life that is not worth fighting for. My battle may be different than yours, but both with significant value.

I have to learn to live through chronic pain to be reminded of the very thing that makes me who I am in the kingdom of God. This cross I carry is painful, but that very thing that brings me pain is the very thing that gives me purpose in this heavenly promise.

A New Day...

I came into my blog to shut it down, but it was the over 243 views that I had in July alone that made me think it is time to begin writing again. My last post was back in 2014 and so much has changed in my life since than. I needed to trust in the prompting of the Holy Ghost as I begin to share my life with those who around the world have been listening.

I keep saying I'm going to write more, but I seem to begin with so much excitement and life comes my way and I stop. As much as I'd love to say that I will work towards writing more I can't promise that. But what I can promise is a better effort towards sharing my heart and what God is speaking.

The Word tells us that we will find him when we search for him. That in the secret place it is only us and God. I have learned over and over again this to be true. That the more I write about him the more I find him. The more I discuss about his love, the more I feel His hand. And most importantly, the more that I focus on Him, the more I see him in the beauty of the day.

In the last year, I have battled with a chronic illness that is so miss understood and misdiagnosed that I've felt speechless. But, the longer I battle with it, the more I find my God in the mist of it.

My battle has given me wounds and scars that are not all visible to the eye, but I have found comfort in my secret times with God and comfort in knowing He sees me. I find myself looking towards the new day and see my Savior's guiding hand. I feel his strength in the wings that encompass and fresh hope of tomorrow.

I guess I sit here tonight knowing that my life is not to be put in a journal, but to be public for all that desire to look into it. Into the life of a woman no longer a girl who believes in the undying favor of God. A woman who sees the hope in the pain and who knows that no matter what your battle may be the Jesus that died for your sins is able to bring you into a realm of comfort.

I write you tonight to say a new day has dawned. I will not speak to you about the battles of my flesh, but will share with you the battles of this disease that can attack my body, but not my soul. I am a fighter, but in that battle is one of greater purpose and that is eternal life. I live each day with a brighter understanding that I serve a God who is more than just my creator He is my savior!

It is through Jesus that I know that a new day shall come and he has made me and you overcomers by the word of our testimonies and the power of the cross. Stay strong and feel the reason...

Speak...

I tend to find myself unsure of what I should write, and sometimes feel as if I am writing without a cause or purpose. However, as I sit in my house listening to the cars drive by I am reminded that with out intentional effort we will look back and say, "where did the time go". We will look into the past and wonder what we said and what we didn't say.

As a person who tends to be more quite and reserved I find myself wondering if I said to much, or I said enough. I believe that is nothing more then a spirit of timidity that tries to hush the voices of the people of God. As I try to grow out of this need to "see the writing on the wall", I find myself watching God's hand perform the impossible things that I knew he was capable of doing. Those things that I should have spoken of and didn't.

For example, when I was about to have my second surgery for my endometriosis the Lord spoke to me and told me I needed to ask for prayer. Not just in my church, but to share it to all that were on Facebook. The amount of responses and encouragement that was given to me was so overwhelming that it brought me to my knees. I was so thankful for the prayers and humbled that the Lord responded. With a good report from the doctor I stand knowing that there is power in prayer and we must speak out.

The enemy wanted nothing more than to keep me in a place of timidity and in the mean time God was wanting to show Himself strong. As I knew that he was able to do the impossible it was not just me that needed to believe it, but all the hundreds of friends that I have on Facebook that saw that the Lord responding to the request of those praying.

From this I have had many talk to me about chronic pain and dealing with situations that hinder our lives. I have had others ask for prayer and others state they didn't even know that I had dealt with this for so long. The truth is all of that has allowed me to share with people where I find my strength and that is all from Jesus. He is my strength, my rock, and my encouragement. When I find myself feeling like I can't take it anymore I just speak out that name, Jesus.

Just me speaking out allowed God to show Himself. Jesus needs to be spoken of and something it will take us speaking about the uncomfortable situations in our lives so that He can do His greatest work. It isn't about me and what I went through, it is about what He has done. I went into my surgery thinking I was going to have to have major surgery, but came out with a report that growth was minimal.

As I said to my Pastor, "it was years of terrible pain, but after the pain is gone, its gone". I want to remember that when I look to the future knowing that I have used every opportunity to speak when I needed to speak. Because when the opportunity has passed, it has passed and I don't want to miss out on the things that God wanted to do.

May the Lord bless you all!

Be of good cheer...

In my study of chapter 23 of Acts, I have found myself completely amazed by the ministry of Paul. We speak of him often, but I never realized how much he endured to have the Word of God go forward. The ways he was tortured, but still determined to fulfill the will of God. I am encouraged by that and know that only God can direct the steps of those that follow Him.

While I find myself over taken by the true zeal of Paul, I find him a man of great example to our modern day church. As I find my days filled with frustration, I look to the sky and thank the Lord for the path that He is sending me on. A walk that is not always easy, but is filled with wonderful learning experiences and times of growth. I can't say that I live a life without mistakes, but I can say that I am determined to walk to road God has designed for me.

Paul's ministry was one of great persecution and I find myself reminded of this when I get the looks. I try to remind myself of the time that the Lord came to Paul in chapter 23 and God tells him that he should be of good cheer because the testimony he brought of Christ in Jerusalem he will now bring to Rome. Are we willing to endure the mob to get the Word of Christ forward?

Many of us have not taken a punch for the name of Christ, but I have heard of some who have. In that I am inspired to go forward with the gospel message and stand with assurance that this message is worth it all.

So, I leave you with this. Be of good cheer my brothers and sisters. You may have endured the mob, but remember it was for a great purpose. God is doing great things in 2014!

To all those being affected by the weather... stay warm and be safe!